Hooking it on Fremont Street

I had my first truly touristy night in Vegas last night. Zandra and I went down to Fremont Street. I've heard of Fremont but only in reference to prostitution so I have to admit I wasn't as excited as I could have been. It didn't get any better when Zandra gave me the "rules."
1. Do NOT make eye contact with anyone for any reason and
2. if for some reason you do make eye contact... walk away.

We walked around for about two hours. The first thing I want to mention is the multitude of mullets that I saw in that time. No two were the same. Which leads me to a few "rules" of my own. These are for anyone thinking of visiting Fremont Street or any other street for that matter:

1. Always Always Always wear a bra. No one wants to see your cleavage. Especially if its long enough to look like your chest has been split open from your belly button to your chin. Also if your boobs point so far east and west that the in between could be mistaken for the grand canyon a bra is your best friend.

2. This one is more for street performers: Holding one note for ten minutes is not difficult. Especially on a saxophone. Wow you can hold down a button for three minutes. I'm not impressed. I was more impressed when Zandra held the same note in the elevator for six floors. Now that is talent. A little variety please.

3. If you have been drinking it is not a good idea to try the following: Dancing, photography, singing, walking, talking, flirting. Especially not flirting.

4. Do not dress like a whore. There are enough whores in Vegas we don't need your help. It also makes number 1 and number 3 all the more relevant.

5. Bring water and don't wear cheap Wal*Mart flip flops.

Besides all the complete weirdos some pretty funny and entertaining things happened. First of all we parked in a parking garage that had a bridge that went over Ogden Blvd. I wanted to take a picture of Z and I with the neon in the background. As we were doing that a car drove over the bridge and made the whole thing shake. Z started yelling and jumped back. I though she had been hit by the car at first but she told me the spot that she was standing on moved in two directions and she thought the bridge was falling. You probably had to be there for that one but it was hilarious.

We watched a show with those big metal spheres where motorcycles go around and upside down. (Man that was a horrible description but I'm not sure what that thing is called). It was a lot smaller than I thought it was going to be and they had three motorcycles going in there at once. Man if one of them sneezed or blinked at the wrong time they all would have died. That is my aspiration for Vegas now. Everyone here wants to be in a band or make a CD. I want to ride motorcycles in metal cages.

There was a big sign off Fremont that said "wedding information" and pointed off to who knows where. Quick side note: How lame is that? I can't believe that eloping to Vegas is so popular that they have neon signs that lead you in the proper direction. I'm adding that to the list of things you should not do while drunk. Anyways, we walked down a kinda dark alley way which in hindsight wasn't the best idea, when three guys walked up and offered to take our picture so we could both be in it. This is when Zandra broke both rule 1 and 2. She gave them my camera and let them take the picture then instead of walking away she gave them her card and told them to come see her play (she's is a friggin talented violinist) the next day. Then the part that makes me smile, the man looks her in the eye and says "you are so hot" and goes in for the boob grab. Z reacted like a pro and told him "I don't know you!" After they left I reminded her of her own rules and we were on our way.

I saved the most glorious part for last. Towards the end of the street there is a booth where you can have your picture taken with Chip n' Dale dancers. There are no words to explain how hot these men were. I made Z pretend to watch some art show so I could stare at them. Finally I gave up all pretenses and stood there mouth open, drooling, staring at them. It really made me wish I had brought my wallet. I'm totally heading back there on payday! They let you grab their booties when you take a picture with them. Totally worth it.