Sweet Freedom!

I don't know exactly how to express a happy dance in writing but I want you to close your eyes and picture me standing in front of you and then all the sudden.... full on body seizure of excitement. This picture is no longer a lie. I have actually graduated from college. I didn't think I was gonna make it. That last paper was killer hard to get done but here we are! I haven't posted for awhile because I kept getting worried emails and phone calls from friends who feared I was on the brink of suicide. Apparently the deeply pessimistic mood of my posts was freaking people out. I decided to wait till I had some good news to report. Things have gotten much better at work. I think my boss has developed the idea that everytime I come into his office it's going to be because I'm on the verge of a meltdown. I don't blame him though that was pretty accurate for about a month. I'm working on reconditioning him to associate my visits with phenomenal news. Don't get me wrong. It's still pretty tough somedays but either I'm learning to deal with it or the Anti Anxiety meds are kicking in. Either way I'm doing just great. I'm excited to be more involved in things now that I'm not perpetually rushing home to do homework. I went to FHE for the first time today. It was gloriously boring and I loved every minute of it. The one thing still getting me down is that I miss all my babies! I called Kobe and left him a message the other day and he had his secretary (Whitney) call me back to tell me he was busy playing with toys and to call later. I just wanna hug them so much!

She's Alive!...... Barely

So I have decided that I hate the phrase "perception is reality." That is bull shit! Reality is reality and settling for perception as reality is a defeatest attitude. Why do people get so caught up in what other people think about them? And for that matter, why the hell do you care what I'm doing anyways? If I hear one more person use that phrase as an excuse to do something that they otherwise have no grounds to do I will seriously go uni bomber on them. I wish I could go more into what is fueling this rant but with my luck someone I work with will find it and use it against me. So funny thing. When I lived a few miles away from my family I would go weeks and one time months without having contact with anyone. Mostly because I'm a jerk and mostly because I only talk to people when I'm in crisis mode (I'm really a hermit when I'm happy). I got a text from my sister today saying that my parents were wigging out that I hadn't talked to them in like 4 days. Really mom (because I know that your reading this)? I promise I'm alive. I just have absolutely no free time. I call you one day and talk to for like a million years and catch you up on everything or maybe I'll move back to Utah and live in your new house with you. Then you'll always know where I am. It would be nice if I knew a few priesthood holders here that weren't my boss or co-workers. Yes I have home teachers but they are weird. Mostly I could really use a hug.

Glorious!

I'm gonna make it after all. I just finished my International Relations paper! I'd let you read it but trust me it's not as interesting a field as it sounds. This paper is an eight page snooze fest but my professor is going to love it. That's one hurdle down and 3 to go. Tomorrow marks my first official investigation in Las Vegas. Well technically its 3 investigations because apparently if you are going to neglect individuals needs its best done in groups. I'm a little nervous because a guy at a gas station got shot the other day after he fired an employee and I'm going to probably fire 4 people this week. I guess you gotta die sometime right? In addition to that I am determined to clean my office before our audit next week. I doubt they are going to do a Mary Poppins white glove check but I like to make a good first impression and all the big whig Utah bosses will be here in addition to the state. I'm not gonna lie that I'm not that motivated to get the other things done for the audit. They have already warned us that we are going to fail. What an amazing motivator (dripping with sarcasm)! All I need now is to finish my Violence paper from last semester (yes DJ, the one on Hitler that I was working on when you saw me last) and I'll be ready to conquer the world. By the way next week is Shark Week on the Discovery Channel so there is no way that next week won't be the best week of my life. Keep watching for all my shark related posts.

Preview

I am taking a small break from school work to let you know about some posts I am working on perfecting:

1. Everyone here hates me

2. Re-tooling the acid bath mixture

3. I need a new job

Yes I realize these are all gloriously pessimistic but it's been a hard week and the next two aren't looking that promising. Oh I forgot the 4th post:

4. Flunking out of college at the last minute

They'll Grow Up Without Me!

I just realized the crappiest part of moving to Vegas (although the decision as a whole has been a good one) all my babies are going to grow up without me! I came to Utah for the weekend to take a test and we decided to have family get together because I didn't get to see everyone before I left. My favorite part of the day was when my dad took me to look at their new town house and he called the bathroom a bastard (This is the first bastard.. I mean bathroom).

Alone

So I saw this poster on despair.com in the demotivator section, it said you are not alone and yet you are alone, so very alone. I always thought that was funny and ironic and now I know what that means. I just had my first official dinner group with some of the members of my new ward. I liked it we had fun but I didn't really know these people and we were making the what do you do small chat that is standard. It's good to start getting to know people but it's also a little lonely when you are coming from a close knit group of amazing people. So I was feeling a little "home" sick for the gang in Salt Lake so I decided to chat them all up. I sent messages to like 8 people and not a soul replied. Sad day. Actually one did reply to remind me that now that I live in Vegas it's very easy to forget about me. So I'm sitting in my room, alone, and blogging trying to figure out why my roommates go to bed at 9pm and wishing I had a familiar face to cuddle and talk about how freaked out I am to go to work tomorrow. I guess I"ll snuggle facebook instead.

What Happens in Vegas...

Okay quickly.. this comment is to DJ. This is called a blog. It's like an online journal that people can read. It's not really like a personalized myspace or facebook or anything like that but you can still comment by clicking on the comment link at the bottom of the post.

So I moved to Vegas this weekend. It was a pretty uneventful truck ride. Driving the Uhaul was not the ordeal I thought it would be. I did not die. (Andrea the code phrase is: ham fried rice, not really but It's me). The exit that Google maps told me to take was closed and my phone died so I got pretty lost. Due to luck or fate I finally pulled over at a Popeye's chicken and plugged in my phone and found out that I was right across the street from my house. I got there at the exact same time as my hired movers so we took a tour of it together. They were convinced I was insane for moving into a house I had never seen. I hit the jackpot though. It is amazingly cute and I love my room and my roommates for that matter. It looks like a model home for IKEA which I love. The only disappointment is that my bookshelf would not fit up the stairs. I'm still considering taking it apart and putting it back together in my room. (Also, I decided that the worst job in the world would be a mover in Las Vegas).

So a little about the girls I'm living with: Amber is my skinny twin. She is finishing up a degree in Sociology and wants to go to grad school. She co-majored in Criminal Justice. Her dream job is to work for the FBI and she loves to watch Forensic Files and City Confidential on Court TV. She wears size ten shoes and said I could borrow them at anytime. Melissa is a teacher. We haven't talked enough to find our combined loves. Actually we did find out that we attended the same Creed concert in Salt Lake. Zandra (she actually works with me but does not live with me) is in our ward she is amazing and she made me curry chicken and told me all the ward gossip today. We decided to have dinner every Sunday and invite boys. We are doing it next Sunday and we already invited some boys. She also wears the same size shoes as me and promised to show me where the nearest DSW (designer shoe warehouse) is.

Okay so about the ward. It was a little strange. There are two relief societies. I am in the meadow lark relief society. I have no idea how they assign people to each one. Also, there is a nursery and a primary in the ward but sacrament meeting was still amazingly silent. It was a somber mood at church this week because the second counselors wife had passed away a few days before. At the new member meeting I met two roomies who called themselves heterosexual life partners. Since I too have a life partner (you know who you are) I instantly fell in love with them both.

I'm feeling pretty confident about this move now. My only lingering worry is how the transition from hourly pay to salary is going to go. I'm afraid I won't get a paycheck for three weeks which would seriously suck.